If you know my husband, you know that he is a really great speaker. He can get in front of a crowd and draw them in without any notes. He's amazing.
Me. Not so much. I have to have notes, or the entire thing typed out in really big font so I can just nervously stand in front of my crowd reading. (Unless, of course, my crowd consists of 10 year olds or younger...then I'm good to go).
Any opportunity to share about God is one to take...no matter what. Today at MOPS we had our Tea and Testimony. Sounds fancy. And in fact, it kinda was. We had tea and tea sandwiches and scones and little tea like desserts...there were probably crumpets on the table too. We even used real plates and forks to eat! It's definitely a special treat. The best part about it is that women are encouraged to share their testimony (their story of how God worked or is working in their lives). I love testimonies because it brings us closer to Jesus.
So I shared. I shared how God is currently working on my heart. And afterward, I was encouraged to put it on this blog. So here ya go! Hope you can relate :) And sidenote: I'm not sure why I can't publish the last paragraph without being highlighted...but read it! It's all part of the story :)
I’m Kristen. I’m a mom. And I’m not always great at being one. But I strive to be. I pray each day that God would give me the grace I need to parent my girls. And his grace is always sufficient.
But that doesn’t mean my days are always full of smiles. I find myself getting trapped in the “look at me, I’m a kick ass mom” world…comparing myself and trying to live up to man’s expectations. Blogging about my awesome days with my kids. Posting facebook updates about all the things I’ve accomplished in two hours. Pinning my awesome enchilada dinner recipe on Pinterest. But it’s all for who? When I fall into that trap I know it’s because I want a little bit of man’s praise. A “way to go, Kristen” “You rock, Kristen”. And trust me, I know us moms don’t get enough affirmation or “good jobs” during our daily routines. Not as many as we hand out anyway. And I desire it. A lot.
So…I’ve been learning. I’ve been asking a lot of questions. And this is my current testimony. My story of motherhood…one that will always have a next chapter. And my story is thankfully God’s story. I’m not the author. What a relief! In this current chapter, God has been teaching me so much about doing my job for His praise. His glory. For him alone. When the Holy Spirit reminds me of this my desire for man’s praise dwindles. And I see God’s praise in the smiles and hearts and actions of my kids. But I’m also reminded that I’m in this for Him. To give him glory and to show others…through my life…that Jesus is it. He’s the real deal. He’s the one thing I will always need to be a grace-filled mommy. And the only one who loves me even when I make a crappy enchilada dinner that’s not worth pinning. He’s the one who will help me be the parent, wife, sister, cousin, friend, daughter, that I need to be. And He’s the one that deserves the praise. Not me. Because the only reason my story goes on is because of him. And it’s a story worth sharing. Cuz it keeps him on a pedestal and keeps me humble.
I’m thankful for what God has been revealing to me. I’m thankful to be constantly reminded of this verse in Colossians which gets me out of bed, gets me moving and gets me smiling. It pleases my heart to know that I can please God in my everyday mommy stuff and get the best reward in the end. Nothing that man, bloggers, friends, pinners can give me.
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:23-24
If I ended here, I would walk away with my story all neatly wrapped up with a bow. But that’s not the case. Life actually sucks sometimes. And some days I don’t keep God in the forefront of my mind and I forget about what Jesus has done for me. Some days I just want to crawl into a dark hole and never come out because I can’t stand the whining, diapers, messes, tantrums, boogers, meal planning, not showering. And that’s the honest truth. My real story. My story about how life sucks but God is faithful. How even though I scream into my pillow from time to time God is really proud of me for being a mom. God is my audience. I can be an awesome mom because he calls me to be an awesome mom. And that’s it. It’s not really pretty or wrapped up with a bow. Although the joy outweighs the hardship, it’s still a challenge to choose joy from moment to moment. And I want to choose joy. So if you’re ever in the mood to talk honestly about mommyhood, I’m your gal.
